Your oncology team… Are they any good?

December 2021
“My thinking is if you get treatment here (in NH) we can help you. Take you to appointments. Walk Moxie. We have more flexibility than your Boston friends do.”

I’m sitting at the kitchen table in the house I grew up in with my parents, Juanita (79) and Willy (90). It’s mid-December. Dark outside at 4:30. The wood pellet stove behind them just ignited. Mama is looking at me over the top of her glasses. My father’s looking down, fiddling with his pill box.

My mother’s opinion is clear. She wants me to live with them while getting cancer treatment in NH. The alternative is to stay in Boston either at my condo or with friends and get treatment there. My friends are team Boston, knowing it’s home to some of the country’s best doctors and hospitals.

“I know, ma. Jason has offered for me to live with him if I need to. He can set his own schedule so he could take me to appointments. And Beth and Nancy have offered to help.”

“I know… but you’re going to have a lot of appointments. You’re going to need a good amount of support.”

My father looks up at me. “What do ya know about these doctors? Have you looked them up? Are they any good?” He’s asking about the oncologist, radiologist, and surgeon up here.

At the beginning of the month, I had a colonoscopy. I chose to do it in NH, instead of in Boston, so my mom could drive me. We were blindsided when the colonoscopy showed I had rectal cancer. The gastroenterologist who did the colonoscopy automatically hooked me up with an oncology team in NH. The appointments snowballed from there.

“I don’t know dad. How do you figure out who’s good? I’ve read their bios. They have mostly good reviews. Some bad. I don’t know.”

“You’re gonna want someone who knows what he’s doing,” he says.

“I know.” Of course, I want someone good.

“Bill,” my mom says, “She hasn’t met the surgeon or the radiologist yet. We’re meeting with them next week.” My mother only calls him Bill when he’s tap dancing on her nerves, challenging her.

“Do you want to come, pop?”

“No. I don’t need to come. I’ll let you and your mother handle that. But,” He hits the table with his pointer finger for each word as he says, “…make sure they’re good.”

I glance over at Moxie, my blonde cairn terrier, curled up on her bed, snoozing. Peaceful. I’m tired. Feeling pretty dang defeated. Overwhelmed. I can see my independence slipping away rapidly. I’m not in charge of my life anymore. The cancer is. How the fuck is this my reality.?. How do you know you have the right team of doctors in place? They’re not going to tell you if they suck.

“How?” I ask, shaking my head slightly, looking back to my dad. “How am supposed to know?”

He answers gruffly, “Ask them. Ask what their success rate is.”

Ok, that would have never crossed my mind. Yet it made perfect sense. He would ask that. No nonsense. Shoot straight from the hip.

Over the course of December, I met with my NH cancer team; an oncologist, radiologist, and surgeon. I had stage 3 rectal cancer. The good news was it hadn’t spread to other organs. The doctors were optimistic that they could cure it. My treatment would include 8 IV chemo treatments over the course of four months, followed by 6 weeks of radiation and oral chemo, then surgery.

During December and early January, I reached out to a high school friend. She and her mother worked in the local NH hospitals for years. I figured they might have heard something about the cancer treatment center, oncologist, or surgeon that could help me choose between NH or Boston. I got in touch with my PCP and OBGYN in Boston and asked if they had any recommendations or insights. And I made appointments with Dana Farber/Brigham in Boston, asking their oncologist, radiologist, and surgeon so they could review the MRI and CT scans and see if they agreed with the proposed course of treatment my NH team was recommending.

The consult with Dana Farber/Brigham was the most helpful. I brought my friend Jason along for support. Their oncologist and radiologist said they agreed with the NH team’s treatment plan. “We wouldn’t do anything different.”

In meeting with Brigham’s surgeon, we I learned that she had trained the surgeon I’d met with in NH. She said, “He’s good.”

Then Jason asked the question that would’ve made Willy proud. “Why should Kris choose you?”

“Because I do this surgery day in, day out. I do more of them. People come here from across the country for this procedure.”

Finally, I had enough information to make a confident decision about my treatment. To know I had a good team and plan in place. I chose to do chemo and radiation treatments in NH, then have surgery at the Brigham in Boston.

They found the cancer on December 3rd. I started IV chemo treatments on January 19th.